Parenting Choices - The Ones You Need To Make

Written By Arman Zulhajar on Saturday, December 3, 2011 | 12:36 AM

By Carla Rigs


Effective parenting has a lot to do with trial and error, however, to raise your children the right way you need to do what is best for them. You might wonder if it is better to rule with an iron hand or simply be there as a friend. Being a great parent is definitely possible for you, especially if you implement the strategies we are about to discuss.

Many experts will tell you that the most effective style of parenting is authoritative parenting, which is different from authoritarian. Parents who are authoritarian expect obedience without any questions asked, but those who are authoritative will take the time to explain the reasons for the rules and limits. The authoritative parent seeks to be neither overly lenient or overly harsh. Children need some limits, or they'll grow up feeling insecure and lacking in self discipline, but they also need to develop their own individual personalities. Children seem to do best when they are subject to rules that they can clearly understand.

In today's society, it is a very stressful place, especially with the state of the economy. Kids that don't listen or follow your orders can make you very upset; these types of situations can be very difficult to deal with. At times like this, it's important that you gather yourself, take a few deep breaths and maybe leave the room for a minute or two.

The reason you need to do this is that if you respond in an angry way, it is not going to help the predicament. As always, a rational levelheaded person will always deal with situations much better than those lost in anger.

One job you have as a parent is making it clear to your kids what rules they are expected to follow. Certain rules are set up to keep children out of harm's way. Children also require certain boundaries psychologically, as it makes them feel more secure in their everyday lives. Even on relatively minor matters, children need to be guided, so when they're young they do best when they have a set time to go to bed, eat meals, do homework assignments, and when they're permitted free time. You don't have to be overly strict about these things -you can give them alternatives as long as they stay within certain restrictions. You might give them a choice between doing the dishes or taking out the garbage, for example; not a great choice, but it serves to remind them they have certain responsibilities while still giving them an alternative.

You always have to improvise as a parent at times, as things will occur that you had never even thought about. That doesn't mean, however, that it's pointless to think about or study ideas about parenting, as they can help clarify things for you. Parents also have to be aware that the decisions they make regarding their children can have a lot of influence, but at the same time every child has his or her own nature that will come out one way or another.




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